Updates!

Wow! It's been like forever since I checked in!
Man...what's new?? Started a new job, went on vacation in Cancun, Mexico and got engaged to be married.
Not much. ;)

I'm overwhelmed with how exhausting being engaged is! Since getting back from Mexico, I've been on the phone constantly and my facebook account has blown up. Fun to talk to everyone...
I'm not even thinking about the wedding.

Last day!

Hollah! It's my last day at work!!!

Nice feeling - but I'm sure I'm forgetting to do something. However, no worries - I'll be long gone before anyone discovers any loopholes I may have inadvertently left behind.

Work is always work, I believe.

It's like being on a treadmill. Like these cats:


An interesting challenge at first, however, it's a relief to get off after awhile.

And ayeeeyahayyeeee will always love you!

Oh man - if ever there was a week for blogging - this is it. I'm in a hotbed of hysterics.

So. . . I've given my notice at work. And what has transpired since is soo interesting. To some co-workers - I've now become a ghost. I'm dead. They don't email me. They don't talk to me. And when I poke my head in their doorway to ask a question, I get a surprised, confused almost preturbed look like, "Oh yeah! I remember you kinda. Didn't you die? Didn't you used to be alive and work here?"

And then there's the people that are really hating me. I told one of my co-workers I was leaving and she bluntly just said, "I hate you." and didn't speak to me for 2 days.

Some just hate me in a passive aggressive fashion.
Someone else asked about my new position. I told her about it and she asked if I had exaggerated my web skills to land the position.
Jeeeeesh! Ouch!
Essentially - did I lie to get the job? For the record, no. I did not lie.
Thanks for the vote of confidence in me.
So long, to bad cabbage.

Hoff that

Lately, I'm kind of obsessed with The Hoff. I just like the idea of him. He's got a lot of optimism and seems really shallow, but nice. Besides, he obviously likes puppies!

Feelin' on Friday

Man, am I glad it's Friday!
Today has the feel of the last day of summer - a little sadness is in the air. Today is the last Friday without my big boss in the office (she's been in Europe for the past 2 months) and it just seems like everyone else in the world will be on vacation next week.
Understandably, I feel a little "left behind" here in at home.
No matter. I plan to have a juicy weekend filled with movies and doing laundry. I'm going to apply for a passport this weekend as well, in the hopes of an exotic vacation in the next few months. How delicious a prospect is that!
Next weekend I visit my Dad's side of the family in White Plains for my Aunt's 80th birthday party. She belongs to a club who call themselves "The Diamond Club." Guess what they do? Yeah, that's right, they get together regularly to buy diamonds. They don't mess around.



I belonged to a club once in grade school - the red sneaker club. We all had red sneakers. That was about it.

I heard an awesome song lyric today from a band I don't know the name of:

"Who ever said the world is my oyster?
I feel like a nympho trapped in a cloister."

'nuf said.

Sick

Today I was dreaming of a life where I could afford to pay my monthly bills and food shop. This hasn't happened in recent memory and I'm losing it.
What's for dinner? A crumb and a pea.
There. I'm so full.

This distress reached a fever pitch this week due to an unfortunate incident I had at work. I reached into a recycle bin in the mail room to pull out a "used" piece of paper in order to scribble a note. I was tearing the sheet in two when I realized that I was holding a photocopy of a paycheck of a co-worker of mine who is technically "lower" than me in the office ranking.

I was immediately frozen in my tracks.
My jaw hung slack.
I couldn't help but notice.
She makes $10k more a year than I do.

I have felt sick ever since.

mourning for Manny

Sometimes I think that it's not completely normal to hate your life. I thought everyone felt that way, but lately when I sing the song that my brother invented, "I Hate my Life" (sung to the tune of the old "I Love New York" campaign), people tend to go "Ohhh!" and get quiet. Excuse me, I thought I was just stating the obvious. Apparently not.
Okay.

I am not like a dog. I can't be in the moment with a bone. I'm already wondering where the next bone is coming from, and where I'm going to put this bone, and what will happen if someone takes my bone away from me? What then???

I mean, these are real problems!

Speaking of real problems I'm physically sick today over the loss of Manny Ramirez. I know I'm in the minority here, but HE IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO THE RED SOX. And no matter what you say, I will not change my mind. The Red Sox management made a huge mistake in my opinion in not being honest and straightforward in their dealings with him. They could have been classy and just said they were trading him because yes, he's older, but instead they played to the media and have turned Boston against him - a town that just a few short months ago, loved him. He was traded because of his "antics." Apparently, the same antics were not so bothersome when he delivered the two championship rings.

It's just a case of history repeating itself: Anyone remember this guy??

Mean Girls

Last night I watched "Mean Girls" with Lindsey Lohan.
It was perfect for where I am in my head right now.

Summer is here. So far, I've had a kickass birthday with countless amounts of cake, been to the Cape and seen Stevie Wonder.
And soon I will go to two Red Sox games and see that Batman movie that everyone is talking about.
And then I will run a 5 mile road race.

I'm writing this down so I'll feel better about my life. Gosh, I hope it works.

Log ins and passwords

I have so many log in names and passwords for various accounts on line. It's a new identity I have to keep recreating every time I want to look at a site in depth or buy something on-line.
I try to keep my passwords in a theme. (I'm not going to tell you what that theme is.)
But as the hackers get more advanced, the passwords and log ins you create need to be more advanced as well. Where as a five letter passwords used to work, now you have to come up with a nine digit password complete with letters, numbers and at least one of these: ##%%&*(()%$!
How am I ever going to remember something like: smlt#ts40 ? I ask you!

I have a file in my office of what my passwords are at various sites. This is supposed to help.
Without it, I'm lost.

What am I going to do if Alzheimer's ever sets in and I can't access my email anymore ? We're all screwed.

I predict that there is going to be some kind of fall out from all these passwords and log ins. Just you wait. I can feel it. It's nine digit now - but what about in 10 years? Will we be asked for a 25 digit password? I don't know.
Oh, and I also predict that Madonna and her daughter Lourdes are going to sing a duet together in the future. Lourdes is just going to sing on the chorus of one of Madonna's songs. (I dreamt this the other night. Yes, I dream about Madonna).

I recommend putting your dog on a leash when you're walking through a parking lot.
If you don't do this, you may end up with a dog with cat pee all over his head - then you'll be sorry.

As I was leaving work yesterday a big dog (no collar, no leash) chased a fat cat under a car and then up a tree. The cat was stuck on top of a high stump, the dog was below enjoying the thrill of the chase. The cat peed all over the dog's head, but the dog kept on lunging after the cat.
The owner of the dog was leisurely walking through the parking lot with walkman on, seemingly oblivious by the whole thing.

That reminds me of an Aztec Camera song that used to send me into girlish hysterics!!!

Love the lyric, "I see you crying, and I want to kill your friends."

My name is: I.P. Freely

I can recommend something today.
Patience.
I have a hard time practicing patience. But it does pay off.
For example, today I can fit into a size pants that I couldn't two months ago, or last month for that matter.
And I want to be at least two sizes smaller, but I need to be patient. . .and wait for the small changes to start adding up to larger visual results.

If you were a spider, for example, you would probably have a lot of patience. You have to spin a web n' shit. That's more detail work then I could handle.
Or if you were a dog, you would typically have a lot of patience, waiting at home for your owner to take you out to pee.
That would suck. Having to wait until someone took me outside so I could pee.
I am so glad I'm not a dog.
Or, if you were a camel, you would have a great deal of patience. (That sentence just speaks for itself).

I could go on and on.

I think it comes from an inner calmness, a relaxed place - speaking as a human being (for I am one), I can say that in my daily life it is a struggle to find that relaxed place.
It's about mastering the ability to let yourself out of your proverbial cage so you can pee freely.
Word.

I'll never be a hippie

I am back from a three-day music festival called "Mountain Jam" that was held at Hunter Mountain in the Catskills, NY. After spending the weekend surrounded by pot smoking hippies, I have to say that I'm doing pretty damn well for myself in comparison to others out there who are my age.

Music festivals are something that my significant other loves. He loves to take photos of the musicians. He even got a photo pass. Great!
For me, I don't think they will ever become something that I love. They'll fit more into the category of "kinda fun" at least for the first few hours. However, I can easily see them spiraling into "get me hell outta here and don' t touch me for 2 weeks!!" kind of experience. Seven hours of music a day is a lot to take, especially when you've never heard of more than half of the the bands.

We shared house on a mountain with several other music fans who liked to "party" - nuf said about that.

Highlights: Dumpstaphunk and Sharon Jones. Watching the fire dancers. Going to a beautiful wedding in between music sets with a slammin' band from Brooklyn.

Lowlights:
Being hit with a megaphone by a girl who looked like she'd just crawled out from a cave. She kept repeating:
"I'm so sorry, Mama!" "I'm so sorry, Mama!"
Okay, I get it, you're sorry. But why the hell are you calling me Mama? I went from being mildly in pain, to being extremely uncomfortable and in pain.

Being told that my ethnicity was not valid (half-Catholic and half-Jewish) and being ridiculed for the remainder of the trip about it.

Funny things:
A 19 year old boy (who looked kind of like "Bonehead" from Beach Blanket Bingo), handed me back my program after looking at it, saying "Thank you, Woman."

Overhearing this while watching fire dancers (who totally rocked!!!) "If you asked me to describe "love" right now, it would be: "a hot chick juggling fire."

Deep thoughts

I'm digging into my Monday morning coffee with a zesty spoon.
I love long weekends. However, I still get this nagging feeling that somehow, sitting here on my couch while the clock ticks past 9am, that this is wrong. I'm very American that way. I can't relax very easily.

There's a natural guilt that's incorporated into the American psyche. Even if you work hard, there's always someone who's working harder than you. So, if you take time off - even a holiday - in the back of you mind, you know that someone else is considering you pathetic and lazy.

I think for me, these feelings result from two places: my history with the Catholic church, and my own messed up sense of values.
According to the church's doctrine, you were always guilty of something - sin, sin, sin. I remember convincing myself at 8 years old, that I would surely be struck dead because of all the sin I'd racked up by just being a regular kid (and possibly because of writing graffiti in pencil about Sherri Haywood on the bathroom doors at school).

Couple that fear with growing up in my house where I was always satirically questioned.

"Why are you so happy?!"

"Why are you eating again?!?!"

"Why are you always so down?!"

"Why are you so sensitive?!?"

My emotions and actions could never right the off-kilter balance of the household never mind the whims of "Our Lord and Savior."

Now, here, blessed with an entire day of free time, I'm fighting off the demons of the past that accuse me of excessive joy, gluttony, and sensitivity - and just committing to being myself. To me being me - with out the judgment. Without the guilt.

Come on Long Weekend!!!!

Come on Memorial Day weekend! Three days - yeah. So nice.
So, I'm quite relieved that the movers I hired are coming to fix the damage they made to my floors. Honestly, in this day and age when people screw you over left and right, I was really surprised to even hear from then again. But, they're supposed to come over this weekend and repair the scratches.
Very cool.
Another really cool thing is that I lost my bike lock keys in the move. (Okay, that's not cool, but I'm getting to the cool part.) The cool part is that when I had purchased my Kryptonite lock close to 10 years ago, I had registered the keys with the company. Two emails later, they are sending me two new copies of my keys free of charge.
What a boon!
Like I said, in this day and age when people are defacing Stonehenge just to make a buck, it's nice to know that there is some kind of human civility in our society.

So happy

I am so pleased with my new living arrangements. It only takes me 20 mins. max to get to work in the morning - (a nice change from my 45-60 minute previous travel time) and 5 mins. from the gym.
Yes!
Also, I have the best roommate in the world.

Now, will someone buy this house for me? I walked by it last night and I am in love.

It's only 2.5 million.

I haven't written in quite some time. I survived the move. It was one of the most physically difficult things to do. A true endurance challenge - mentally and physically - and I even had hired movers! Well, I'm hoping to stay put for awhile. I won't be rushing to do that again.
So now, more than 2 weeks after the fact, I'm finally feeling caught up with sleep and things are slowly shaping up around the place.
I'm terrifically happy!
The finale of ANTM is t0night! Pretty excited about that one.

If you haven't seen it yet, this guy is hysterical.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAFI1i5FIBc

He's part tranny/mime/diva . . . you name it.

Loved it!

We suffered through a terribly cold winter and this weekend we were officially paid back. I was bathed in gorgeous sunlight this weekend!! And a long weekend to boot.
Awesomely awesome.
These are the days that you think of when you imagine Spring occurring. All the blossoms are out. The birds are all a twitter. . .it's as if life is just exhaling one cleansing breath after another.
Delightful.
I witnessed the 112th running of the Boston Marathon today FOR THE FIRST TIME! I've lived in this area all my life and have never ventured out to see it.
It was worth the trip. Beautiful. Inspirational and moving.
I even got a peek at Lance Armstrong's backside.
All in all a fantastic weekend.
10 days and counting until I move!!!

Big Ups to LTL and Sox game!

Want to give a shout out to LTL - it's her birthday today!!! Whoop! Whoop!
Last night's Red Sox game was so much fun. Why do I feel hungover? I had one beer. I went to bed at midnight and I feel less than fresh this am. I am getting old.
By the 7th inning, sitting in the bleachers was more like being in a college bar. The girls on our right (Detroit fans) were drunkingly flirting with the (wichked smaaat) guys behind me.
The girls on my left were slipping nips into their large cokes and getting hit on by other guys.
No one was watching the game. The beach ball's were flying and the kids were taking endless pictures of each other in between texting their friends.
A great night overall. The weather was beautiful and the Sox won.


What I ate last night.

spring fling

I've been negligent in writing for awhile. All the moving preparation is sapping my blog energy.
I'm super excited to move into my new space - I just can't wait!
Lots of action is occurring now that spring has sprung.

Here are a few of the things that are putting a spring in my step:
1. I'm referring to lunch time as "recess"
2. enjoying the birdies singing
3. Red Sox!! (I'm going tonight!)
4. wearing more lemon yellow
5. scrutinizing everything in my apartment to see how it can fit it into a box
6. trying to cut down on my text talk (i.e. "omg!" which I do far to much)
7. throwing out old hair products
8. I'd like to start using the word "danger" more (i.e. "that's so exciting, it's almost dangerous!" or "ooh! Danger! Meow!" or "can't you just smell the danger in the air?"

Century 21

What is Century 21 going to do when we hit the 22nd century? They will be so behind the times.
I came home the other day and there was a big sign on my lawn from said company. My big house is officially for sale. Now comes the parade, (or "caravan" as it's known in the real estate biz) of people coming through and looking.
On the positive side, today I am one step closer to getting a new place with my boy. We're waiting to hear from the landlord of our potential new apt. Yahoo!
Can't wait. Not a fan of having to hide my unmentionables every morning from "potenial buyers", but if it's only for one more month, then I can deal.

If I can recommend one thing today, it is this hippy-trippy book that I stumbled across that was gifted to me some years ago, "The Power of Now". I'm digging it. A lot of the writing is kinda mystical and cryptic, but the essential message seems to be quite Buddhist in nature. It's helping keeping my stress-level in check and that's a great thing - especially when you don't know where you're going to be living next month.

Oh yeah, love this interview. Madonna eats steak and cupcakes AND loves Picasso's and diamonds. Homegirl keeps it real.
BTW: Fergie turned 33 this week, and do you believe that Mary J. Blige is only 37? Them girls did some hard livin'.

Back to the middle

Okay, this sounds trivial, but I think it put a spring in my step. I parted my hair in the middle today instead of on the side, and I already feel like, Wow! different. I feel braver. I mean, hair parted in the middle says, "I have nothing to hide", "I'm a straight shooter". And hair parted on the side can be a little elusive, I suppose. So, I'm all about putting out good vibes lately. Direct. Positive. Practicing the laws of universal attraction, in the hopes that it will redirect some positivity back into my life after a dismal, dreary, winter.
Dig it.
Spring is here and I'm ready.
Here's a link to a whacked out article on hair parts and what they "mean". I've been a left hair parter for the good majority of my life. According to this article, I should have a great business sense, but am not perceived as being very feminine. Oh, contraire!
I'll see how life in the middle goes.
I was a middle parter all through my young years. Somewhere in my 20s, things changed. I'm going back to my roots, yo.

On Broadway

My dear friend Dave McLaughlin's (one of the writers of the movie Southie) movie is opening tonight in 5 theaters around the Boston area. Check out http://www.onbroadwaythemovie.com for more information on where and when it's playing in your area. I worked with Dave previously in his play "Back to Before" a few years ago at the Boston Center for the Arts. The camaraderie of the cast was so fantastic. Dave's truly an inspirational person who has the ability to make his dreams a reality - a skill that I admire.

Music soothes the soul

I'm listening to the new Erykah Badu album this morning, and it's helping me cruise through the Monday morning shock-waves. (If you haven't seen the Honey video yet, you need to get on that, cause it's dope!) Especially helpful in dealing with the day-light savings time adjustment yesterday.

Love the light, but even missing that 1 extra hour is a tough adjustment. I'm going to give myself the week to get even with the time thing.

What I'm eating now.

In my neighborhood

I went for a walk this morning to Bloc 11 to get coffee. It's really important to me that I have a good coffee place within walking distance. Now that impending move approaches (still don't know when exactly, but it's on the horizon) I'm starting to really do appreciate my neighborhood. Not that I ever didn't like my neighborhood, because it's close to everything - Davis, Harvard, Porter. Close to everything except my boyfriend and my job. It's got such a mix of nationalities and income brackets, and lots of dogs. One of my favorite things to do is to take a walk by the dog park (which is on the way to Bloc 11, so that's extra nice). I love to see the different pooches all run and laugh together.

Btw, Bloc 11 is a very cool place. I love the decor. The prices are a bit high. I got a sandwich there a few weeks ago for like $9 and it was paltry in size and lower in yumminess compared to Hi-Rise Bakery in Cambridge. Hi Rise is pricey, like $12 a sandwich, but it is sooo worth it for the goodness in every single bite. Plus their sandwiches are so huge, you can easily get two meals out of them.
Worth it in my book.
However, Bloc 11 is cool in atmosphere and close by, so it gets a thumbs up.

I'm hoping to finish my taxes today. I've been working on them all week. This year is the first year in a long time that I have 1 (one) W-2. I usually have 3 or 4 from all the extra jobs I do. But this year, I have truly kept it simple. And that's making things a little easier.

What I'm eating now.

Dirty sex

Attention all dirty boys. Read this article!
Men who do housework may get more sex
Holy crap. Men get paid more than women for everything! Women clean and well, no one notices, but men? They apparently get more sex. But on the other hand, if it gives them incentive, well then, a clean house may be worth it.


What I'm eating now.

Makeovers are tonight!

Hey ANTM fans! The episode we've all been waiting for airs tonight: Makeovers!
They are predicting lots of weaves in the forecast.
Love it!

It's positively the one thing that I'm living for at the moment.

Claire, (featured in the above photo) is my pick for the winner this season, even though she admits to drinking her own breast milk. I'm not sayin', but I'm sayin'!


What I'm eating now.

Springin'

The weather today is nice and sunny for once! Whooo hoo!

I've been recovering from a hip injury for the past year. It's been slow going and I've had to practice a lot of patience. Not fun for someone who loves to be active and run. Still, I was feeling pretty spritely this am, so I headed out on a leisurely jog on one of my old routes. On the Somerville bike path I got passed by not one, but two chicks! Getting passed can do a number on your brain. It's hard not to get psyched out. I had to let go of my ego and just let them run at their pace, and not chastise myself for the put-put pace that I was going at. I reminded myself that I am recovering from an injury and that I need to get back into running at a smart pace; my pace.
In time, I'll be blowin' by all those chickens!

My goal is to run a 5k at the end of the month. I don't expect to hit my past times, set a PR or anything, but a girl needs a goal.

My sister and I want to do a 1/2 marathon again this coming September. I do hope my hip feels superb by then.

Let me take this opportunity to be true to my title and recommend something. . .
Oh! I've got a perfect one!

Now that spring is here and you're going to bring that old bike out for a ride. Please, please wear your helmet! It's so important. This morning I noticed a guy (mostly because he blew through a stop sign) with no helmet on, headphones in his ears and carrying a baby wrapped in clear plastic on the back seat of his bicycle. What's wrong with people? I didn't know what aspect of his setup was more horrifying (maybe the baby wrapped in plastic).
I've been in a bike accident and it's no fun. So put those helmets on folks, get the ear buds out and be safe.
Enjoy the sun!

Here's what I'm eating now.

Channeling Mike Lowell

I came to a sucky realization this morning that I am surrounded by people that I don't care for very much.
My workplace is filled with people I need to dodge, and my house is filled with people who are legally insane.
Ergo, a lot needs to change. Including my thinking. I let my the actions of others stress me out way too much. I've every intention of making some necessary adjustments - i.e. moving, new job. I feel like my life is like a shower drain and I only clean it sporadically, instead of on a regular basis. Without regular attention, it gets all clogged. It's currently running a bit sluggish, with bits of hair and dried soap all mixed up with calcium build up. What I need is a good plunging and some Drain-O.

There's a lot of anxiety that can be attributed to these factors, and I find that I'm having a hard time relaxing due to the thoughts racing around in my mind.

Does everyone feel this way? I don't think Mike Lowell does. Of course he gets paid a mint, but as I was watching him eat cookies on T.V last night as part of the 3rd annual Red Sox Cookie-Off, he just seemed like such a relaxed person. I admit, he wasn't doing anything stressful, just judging cookies, but I was thinking, does this guy ever get really stressed? For the most part, I think ball players are pretty chill people. Look at Manny, or at Big Papi: Chill and Super Chill.

I gotta get me some of that super chillness. The thing that I think is really nice about baseball, is that they give the players downtime. You're in the outfield, and then you get to sit and relax for a bit, and then you bat, and then you play in the outfield, and then you rest. It's like having a designated nap time. Ahh, to be a major leaguer, or better yet, a Red Sox.

Leap for leap day

I'm so excited today! Today is the very last day of February 2008 which, for me, has been one of the lowest months I've had in a long time. Today's paper confirms that I'm not just a crazy, psycho, but there is documented proof of why this month has sucked.

According to the Boston Globe:

"It rained, snowed, or sleeted 14 of the first 28 days of the month. That doesn't include today's bonus leap day, when 1 to 3 more inches of snow are expected.

And it is not just the cold rain and snow. Daylight has been shrouded in clouds roughly 60 percent of the month, according to the sunshine recorder at Blue Hill Observatory."

Snow? Sleet? Rain? No daylight? No wonder my boyfriend cowers in a corner (thanks, Matt) whenever I enter a room. Last night I hit a low - swearing and scowling as I went to 4 stores looking for a birthday present for my friend. "How dare she have a birthday!" I grumbled. "Some people can be so selfish!"

Yeah, Roz, time to embrace March and let go of this awful, awful month.

If I could kick February in the ass on it's way out - I would.

Runaway

My sister Celia told me a story yesterday about her childhood that I never heard before. I thought I'd heard them all. She was the "wild" one in the family. The one who in her teenage years, fell asleep in the back of truck and woke up in New Hampshire. The one who had the wild parties when my parents weren't home. The one who got sent to Catholic school because she was so "bad."

She really paved the way for me - for all of us siblings - (6 in total). I called her yesterday to thank her for her trail blazing. My mother had called me to say congratulations for deciding to move in with my boyfriend. Congratulations?! If this had happened 20 years ago she would have been crying, inviting priests over for dinner, bemoaning the fact that I was going to be living in sin, and surely going to hell. Now she's calling to congratulate me!? This is an awesome transformation.

So thank you Celia, for "breaking-in" my parents for me. Thank you.

So the story Celia told me is as follows. At 11 years old she and a boy friend (not her boyfriend, but a boy who was a friend) decided to run away to Mexico. He stole $50 from his dad and gave it to her. She went out and bought Levi's. (I don't really know how that part fits into the story), but, anyway, she was caught by my mother as she was running for the border.

My mom was teaching piano in the living room when she saw a suitcase swinging by a rope outside the window. My sister had was lowering her belongings to the ground as part of her escape plan. If it hadn't been for the suitcase debacle, I'm sure they would've hit Mexico by sundown.

I asked my sister if her daughter, now 8, has tried to run away yet. She has not. I was stunned! "What's wrong with her? " By the time I was her age, all of my siblings were running away on a weekly basis. I was just conforming to the norm when I stuffed my pillowcase full of possessions, grabbed a blanket and my teddy bear, and headed out into the woods.

I think this speaks a great deal to our home life growing up. We were all just trying to get away from each other - to have some sort of privacy, and to get some sort of acknowledgment from our parents that we existed and mattered.

I'm very surprised that we don't currently live in separate countries now.

Tell it like it is

My friend Michelle and I are considering developing new line of greeting cards called "Tell it like it is"
They'd be filled with sayings like
"I've been meaning to tell you. . .
you just don't mean that much to me."

This one is for my upstairs neighbor
"I don't mention it enough but. . .
I can hear you yawning every night"

or this one for my neighbor across the hall
"You've been there for me in the past. . .
but you never, EVER lift a finger to freaking shovel the driveway!"

or this one
"You are nice and sweet on the outside. . .
but a raging lunatic whenever you open your mouth."

or
"I've always considered you one of my best friends. . .
and you make way more money than I do, and live in a mansion and you never pick up the check when we go out to dinner."

Last minute addition by Michelle:
"I always meant to tell you. . .
I like you better when you're drunk."

ahem. February is getting to me.

Just a little shell shocked

As the girl next to me on the elliptical trainer was singing along with her ipod this morning, I was attempting not to fall down with laughter watching Meredith Vieira grasping at straws in an attempt to eek any sort of reaction out of this lottery winning couple.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23333028/

Meredith does a great job restraining herself as Tonya Harris weaves her gripping tale.

Harris starts off by saying she didn't play the number, but then she goes on to say something about calling her daughter, "makin' sure 'bout the kidses' birthday" and goes on to describe some kind of power outage. Her story culminates with a trip to the store for her husband, where she does, in fact, (wait for it. . .) play the number. (Collective, mass exhalation!)

Wow. That trip to the store came out of nowhere!

Apparently the winner not only receives $270 million, but a lifetime supply of quaaludes which these two appear to be enjoying immensely.

I think my favorite part is when Mr. Harris proudly holds up the winning ticket.

Projecting projects

Sorry I didn't write yesterday fans, it was not that you were not in my thoughts, but I was at a company "retreat" the entire day and away from my computer.

It's going to snow a lot today and I'm not feeling it. The shoveling that lies ahead is dreaded.

So what can I recommend for today? Little things. Here is a list of little things that I always forget about doing. They are small things, but once I've done them, I always feel so much better:

Polishing my shoes. I never do this, but like I said, when I do, I'm like "Wow! My shoes looked so crappy before, and now they look so great!" It's a good, small, satisfying project that can easily be accomplished while watching American Gladiator.

Cleaning the light switches, phones, and remote controls in your house. Oh! When you think of how many times you've rested your pretty digits on each of these items after your fingers have been in the peanut butter jar - the realization is staggering!!

Refolding your clothes. My drawers get out of whack pretty fast. When I take the time to take everything out and refold them, the result is a pretty package that makes me wanna pucker!

Rolling coins. I LOVE to roll coins. Am I weird? Yes! I'm just not one of those types who goes to the coin machine and dumps them in. Too easy peasy. I hand roll, baby. Having all those coin logs around comes in handy. I've already rolled $20 towards my trip to Italy. AW YEAH!

Cleaning your makeup brushes. Holla! Do you do this every week? Hell no. Should you? Hell yes! Nothing beats the feeling of a clean, soft brush upon your delicate face. Here's my system: Take a mild soap and soak those nasty brushes for at least 5 mins. Then, take it to the street and hand wash each one until they don't rub any make up off on your hand. Rinse and let dry on the edge of the sink so that the brush hangs over the sink bowl. This will ensure that the brush will retain it's luscious form and not get all flat on one side.

Shredding documents. I love you my sweet shredder. You are the bread and I am your cheddar. My files are pretty full. So it's very important that I only keep what I need to. How long do you have to save stuff like phone bills? I usually save them for 1 year. I keep a file of "To Shred" on my shelf and let the old crap pile up until I have enough for one big, super, scintillating shredding session. This way, the satisfaction just goes on and on and on!

Do you have any projects that you do that make you feel clean on the inside?
Please share!

We're not gonna' take it!

I think I'm suffering from anxiety about my impending move. Last night, I dreamt that when I awoke, one of my apartment walls was missing. The rain was pouring in and I was cold. I went to call my landlady and had a difficult time finding the number and pressing the buttons on the phone. I hate that when that happens in a dream. My hands were shaking so much.

When I reached my landlady, before I could get a word in about the missing wall, she began to accuse me of subletting and having my boyfriend over far too much. "Of course, you two work together," she stated in her accusatory tone. (As if that mattered!) "No, no we don't!" I professed.
She told me she was going to raise the rent because I was a loud person, and I had broken the subletting rules.
I woke up before I could tell her about the wall.
Drat!

This dream also comes on the tails of a scary car moment that occurred yesterday. My car decided to pull a Steven King "Christine" moment and start accelerating uncontrollably all by itself. That wasn't fun. My mechanic says that all should be well now, but while it was happening, I was one freaked out chicka!

There are moments in your life you just don't expect and can't control - that make your heart race and your breathing fierce - like your apartment wall disappearing, or your car deciding to drive all by itself.
When those times hit, I think it's best to do what I did yesterday - pull over and call for help. Or, wake yourself the fuck up and realize that "Hey, that lady is a big cup of crazy and I don't have to take that shit!" Sometimes I forget that part, the waking myself up part and I just take it. I'm gonna' try to pull over way more often.

Eye patches and tacos make the world go round

Mmmmkay. . .
My sister, Laura, is at a conference this week which just so happens to be in Mexico. She couldn't have picked a better time to go. The weather here on the East coast has just been abyismal. February is not my month.
In fact, unless you get the opportunity to shove off to a warm locale, it's best to skip February entirely.

I think my sister is having a better February than I am. Here's a sniglet from our most recent IM session.

Laura:Yesterday Andy and I signed up for dinner cruise. The guy said we could watch the sunset and it was a lobster dinner on a boat.

So we thought that sounded really nice and chill and relaxing.

We get there and we're standing in line waiting to get on the boat and all of sudden I see a dude in a pirate hat and boots, and I was like, "Andy look, it's a pirate!"

me: did he smack you?

Laura: No, he saw the guy too and I said, "Wouldn't it be hysterical if there was like a pirate theme to our cruise?" Hahahahahahah

So, guess what?

me: there was a pirate cruise

Laura: It was a total pirate themed cruise, no, make that a Mexican pirate cruise.

Complete with hangings and drinking games and sword fights and they made me sit on some guys back while he did sit ups and dancing and other pirate antics.

me: naturally

Sounds like we all should could use a little Mexican pirate cruise -or at least a virtual one.

Talkin' 'bout love

Valentine's Day. It's a candy holiday.
I believe there are certain holidays just designed to keep you chubby.
Vday is one of them. I mean, what would Valentine's Day be with out chocolate, and of course those adorable, teeth rotting conversation hearts?
I bought a six pack of the aforementioned hearts on Sunday (the Lord's day).
They were from Necco - which I consider to be the master of all conversation heart producers.
Sadly, upon opening the box, the contents were stale and half of the "conversation" on the hearts was illegible - unaligned love letters. That didn't deter me from enjoying the satisfying sugar rush, but I was a bit let down. I long for the chewier, dare I say 'moister' convo. heart along with a more enjoyable 'conversation.'
Perhaps I'm being too picky here. It's akin to expecting Ryan Seacrest to recite Shakespere- wanting your sugar and some sense to go along with it.
The best that Necco had to offer was "Say yes." I even mildly enjoyed the sassy "Date me."
But I couldn't help but wanting something a bit more, well, conversational, like "Lasso me!" or "Take a whiff."
Now those are guaranteed conversation starters!
Perhaps Brachs has a better offering.
I do find their candy corn to be of a superior quality.

You gotta start somewhere. . .

You gotta start somewhere. . .Good God! I'm blogging!

Has it really come to this? Well, friends. . .yes, it has. Thanks to my recent encouragement by respected blog-diva Duck and my super talented office-mate Michelle, who’s got her fingers in all sorts of creative pots, I'm dipping my big toe into the pool of blogdom with a resounding "thwap!"

"Sacre bleu!" As my fantastic friend Sara always says as she imitates the frail, ancient, constantly pickled French man Roget who used to (chastise us) maitre 'd at the restaurant where we both worked in the early 90s. When I would come in for the morning shift Roget would usually announce his meal plans to me in his signature raspy, barely audible, heavy French accent.

"Rosa, tonight for me and Mimi, I make Beef Bourgogne!"

Mimi was his cat. He was constantly referring to the other waitresses as "Gigi", "Babbette" or "Fifi". And although his handwriting was barely legible, he insisted on writing all the waiters names down along with their station assignments every morning. This is how one girl named Sara, came to be known simply as “Bandit.”

I fondly recall one wintery evening he took me and “Gigi” out to dinner at the now defunct “Chez Jean” just outside Harvard Sq. I tried escargot for the first time. He even showed me how to drink Pernod like a proper member of French café society.

So, I suppose it is oddly fitting on this eve of love I’ve chosen to write my first post about one who always appreciated all things to do with amour - Monsieur Roget.