Talkin' 'bout love

Valentine's Day. It's a candy holiday.
I believe there are certain holidays just designed to keep you chubby.
Vday is one of them. I mean, what would Valentine's Day be with out chocolate, and of course those adorable, teeth rotting conversation hearts?
I bought a six pack of the aforementioned hearts on Sunday (the Lord's day).
They were from Necco - which I consider to be the master of all conversation heart producers.
Sadly, upon opening the box, the contents were stale and half of the "conversation" on the hearts was illegible - unaligned love letters. That didn't deter me from enjoying the satisfying sugar rush, but I was a bit let down. I long for the chewier, dare I say 'moister' convo. heart along with a more enjoyable 'conversation.'
Perhaps I'm being too picky here. It's akin to expecting Ryan Seacrest to recite Shakespere- wanting your sugar and some sense to go along with it.
The best that Necco had to offer was "Say yes." I even mildly enjoyed the sassy "Date me."
But I couldn't help but wanting something a bit more, well, conversational, like "Lasso me!" or "Take a whiff."
Now those are guaranteed conversation starters!
Perhaps Brachs has a better offering.
I do find their candy corn to be of a superior quality.