Tell it like it is

My friend Michelle and I are considering developing new line of greeting cards called "Tell it like it is"
They'd be filled with sayings like
"I've been meaning to tell you. . .
you just don't mean that much to me."

This one is for my upstairs neighbor
"I don't mention it enough but. . .
I can hear you yawning every night"

or this one for my neighbor across the hall
"You've been there for me in the past. . .
but you never, EVER lift a finger to freaking shovel the driveway!"

or this one
"You are nice and sweet on the outside. . .
but a raging lunatic whenever you open your mouth."

or
"I've always considered you one of my best friends. . .
and you make way more money than I do, and live in a mansion and you never pick up the check when we go out to dinner."

Last minute addition by Michelle:
"I always meant to tell you. . .
I like you better when you're drunk."

ahem. February is getting to me.